Ever have one of those days? Weeks? This weekend has been a doozie. What helps you all cope when you are down and out?
Leda just told me I was a bad Mom. Spencer told me that Daddy (whose sick in bed with a 103 temp) is way more fun than me.
I feel overworked and tired.
I have a headache. It's killer.
I've yelled at my children too much this weekend. I hate it when I yell.
Whew! How's this for an honest post? What's the phone number again for us Moms to call when we want a sick day or want to request a vacation day? Anyone have that number on hand?
Okay, so on to my sincere question and reason for this post. What helps YOU feel better when you are discouraged? Perhaps reading about how you cope or what makes you feel better can help me feel better! That's what friends are for, right?
Thanks for listening.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Discouraged.
Posted by Marcy at 6:40 PM
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17 comments:
You have no idea how much better I feel right now to know that you get discouraged too! I had a pretty cruddy week myself. I'm sleep deprived, my two year old isn't napping and is driving me CRAZY, my husband works too much, and I am still pretty uncomfortable in my after-baby body. I'm SO interested to hear what other people say. But I think the thing that helps me when I get discouraged is to take a little break...like a nap or go out by myself. Another thing that really really helped me get out of my funk today was I read my patriarchal blessing. I dont' know why I did it because I don't normally think about it so it must have been exactly what I needed. The devil wants me to be discouraged and when I remembered that it gave me a boost.
You are definitely not a bad mom! You always seem so put together. I am with you, I need that phone number for a vacation day as well. I hope things start getting better for you! Sorry this was so long...
When I get discouraged I like to call and talk to a friend or sister. I also like to take a walk alone, have a good cry and get a treat (not necessarily in that order.) I also like to write in my journal. It helps me get it all out and it helps too when I go back and read about other difficult times. **Hugs Marcy** You're a good mom. You know you are. It is just one TOUGH job! We all have those days, weeks, months...
I love the honesty! And sadly, I feel better knowing other moms have a hard time too! I don't have any good advice...I just usually call PJ at work and complain. :) But I think a good book always helps.
I hope the upcoming week goes better and that Aaron feels better soon. Your kiddies are lucky to have you as their mom!
play some music!!! and dance. Your kids will laugh...or at least mine do. : ) Cause I dance so well. ; )
It's ironic that you posted this because I've been feeling the exact same way -- totally overwhelmed with everything and really needing a break.
What helps me a ton is just taking even 10 minutes for myself. As mothers, we put our own needs on the back burner, and we very rarely think about pampering ourselves. But those things are very important! They rejuvenate us and make us better mothers.
You don't even have to go anywhere. Just lock yourself in your bedroom, draw a hot bubble bath, light some candles, and soak while you listen to your favorite music or read a book.
Also, after one of those days, making an effort to spend some quality time with my kids really helps me feel better. After all the negative we've gone through, it boosts all of our spirits to just snuggle and read a book, play a game, watch a movie, whatever.
Just say a prayer together as a family asking for a much better day tomorrow. And then give yourself a little TLC.
You're awesome, Marcy! And you can always take a drive a few hours east and come visit me any time you want to get away! ;)
seriously I am right there with you! I feel like I yell way too much at my kids and I really hate when I get to that point! I feel like Taylor knows exactly how to push my buttons! And to make you feel better, Every time I put Taylor in a time out she says she hates me and that we are not friends anymore! The first time she said it I was sad but now i just ignore it! (although of course it still makes me sad!) You are such a great mom though Marcy and a really great person! Hang in there!! if you find out that number let me know! :)
Well I'm reading this through SHARPIE ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN. I am pretty pissed right now, I love your honesty and I have felt like a horrible mom alot latley. I wish I could give you advise but really I don't have much. A long hot shower and a prayer sounds really good to me right now. Maybe pulling out that patriarchal blessing like emily said.
Marcy, I loved this post! I feel you and I think the cure (at least for me) is a chocolate malt and shopping online, lol.
I think you need a restart.
Sometimes I get in this cycle of being grouchy and yelling at my kids, and my house is messy, and I feel like I'm stuck and can't remember how to be happy and motivated, and loving. That's when I need a restart.
Put a movie on for your kids, and give them a treat to keep them busy. Tell them that mommy needs a time out and then when she's done, you'll read stories together or something.
Then take a few minutes to just breathe, take some drugs for your headache, soak in the tub, get dressed, do your hair and makeup, do whatever you need to do to feel good, then take another deep breath, and tell yourself that you're going to start over. Just because you yelled doesn't mean you have to keep yelling.
Go read a couple of books to your kids, spend a few minutes tidying things up- a messy house always makes me feel more discouraged.
Your kids don't have to think you're the most fun person ever, they just have to know you love them.
(I usually end up taking lots of slow deep breaths until my "restart" fully kicks in.)
Good luck.
You are a great Mom. YOU used to tell ME that I was a bad Mom and then call your Grandma!
So here is the number to call when YOU need relief . . .I'm usually available
949-831-2384
OK, mom. If I call you will you come up here and give me a break?? I wish it were that easy. I hate being this far away, especially when my sis is feeling this way. I wish I could come and help. What works for me, well, just plain getting out of the house, but I need WAY more time than a few minutes! I need HOURS!! Like a good meal and a chick flick! Grab one of your buddies, set up a girls night out and have fun! Wish I could go with you! I so need it right now! Oh and Mom, I'll bet your phone is going to be ringing A LOT now that we all know the number for relief!!!
You are not alone. I majored in Marriage, Family and Human Development to help me be an outstanding mom. I read all the books, but it only helps a little. Each kid comes wired with their own ideas about the world. Each has to be parented differently. I only have two and I still struggle. The truth is, it's not supposed to be easy. I think it is supposed to be hard. The only way we get better is to stretch out limits. Heavenly Father sends us little spirits that will do just that. They are the best ones to help us grow. The good momets make it all worth it. I struggle with yelling too. I always laugh at myself when say stupid things like, "Be quiet, you're going to wake the baby." Of course I yell it and completely teach them the opposite of what I wanted. I try to show n increase of love after I dicipline Kyler. I take him out of time out and say, "I love you Kyler." Then he says withot fail "no you don't." learned not to say that when I dicip[line anymore. I say it daily during a sweet moment like bedtime r reading. Kayden tells me he hates me and that he wants Daddy to stay home when he doesn't get his way. I think it's the crappy part of being a mom. THey will say many things they don't mean before they move out. They are learning how to express emotion and sometimes they misplace it. It doesn't mke it hurt any less though. Anyway, when I have a day like that, I:
-Write in my blog or journal to get perspective
-Ask my hubby for a much needed date night and get a sitter
-Get a friend to watch the kids for to hours and do something for me. Pedicure, nap, or read. Rejuvinate
-If none of these are possible, I turn on a movie and sit dpwn to cuddle with them for some quiet time. I just stop all the cleaning etc, projects that I think are so important and take a break.
ou are an awesome Mom Marcy. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who wonders that about myself."Guilt" is every mothers middle name. Good luck and get some good sleep tonight. Nyquil always helps me rest deeper.
Hugs Hugs Hugs! Honestly, lately, the best thing I can do to make myself feel better is have a good cry all by myself. :) Or eat some chocolate or ice cream... hee hee. But I'm getting a little pudgy around the middle so I think I'd better just stick with the good cry. It probably burns a few calories don't ya think? :P Love ya Marcy! And please... call me anytime. :)
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Even if its not until everyone is in bed, get out.
Email, blog, call your girlfriends and get it all out.
Take CARE of yourself. Take just a minute to spritz yourself with a body spray. Rejuvinate somehow.
Let everything else go. The laundry, the dishes and spend some quality time with the kids. Play a game, do a puzzle, build with some blocks. Make them laugh. Usually when I spend a little extra time alone with them they stop acting up as bad.
Take your vitamins. Drink lots of water. Eat some chocolate.
Spend LOTS of time on your knees. Even if its a 30 second prayer here and there, you'll be blessed for hiding in the bathroom, on your knees asking for the Lord's help. Ask for help to find joy in the challenge, find joy in the journey. You'll be blessed for not giving up. :)
Such great comments here, Marcy! I am teary eyed reading all of them and the support of all your great girlfriends! I completely know how you feel, too. I think for me, whenever I am "done" and having a hard time with life...my job in life...etc. I feel better if I go get a pedicure :)! Just an hour to myself w/ someone rubbing my feet. And while I am sitting there relaxing/decompressing I remind myself that I am doing the best I can. I love Pres. Hinckley's quote of "Do the best you can". That always comforts me. Even if sometimes doing the best we can isn't so great! But, that is ok. I think we are so quick to be hard on ourselves for not being perfect as mothers. I know I am and I feel horrible when I yell (as I do far too often) and am unkind to my kids. But, our kids are quick to forgive and we should be quick to forgive ourselves. You are an amazing mom and your kids worship you. You need to give yourself a million pats on the back cause you are great! So, give me a call and we can go get a pedicure, eh?! xoxo
Some day, when they don't want something from us, they will realize that they love us and how much we do for them. You just have to be patient. Take a long hot bubble bath. But you have to threaten the kids with something so that they will leave you alone for 30 mins. That usually gets me calmed down and relaxed.
Thanks for this post! I still feel so new to being a Mom. It is nice to hear great advice from Mom's with more experience.
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